Riley Mason—primed to break the glass ceiling of
Special Forces—has fought sexism her whole military career, and just as she
discovers a mystery surrounding her father’s death, she finds herself fighting
the system again while trying to keep her men alive.
Haunted by her father’s death in Afghanistan when she
was only twelve, Captain Riley Mason follows in his footsteps, conducting
combat operations in Iraq and becoming one of the first women to earn the
coveted Green Beret. Even in the elite ranks, though, she is challenged by
sexism at every turn. Pushed to the sidelines of the Afghan war and forced into
an administrative job, she finally proves herself to her commander and is given
the opportunity to lead a Green Beret team into combat. Just before the
team launches, however, she discovers her father wasn't killed by enemy fire,
but by an American traitor. Arriving in the same base where her father
served his last days, she wrestles with combating the enemy and protecting her
men. All the while, she tracks her father's killer in order to bring him
to justice.
The truth is, that description is a far cry from the original novel I planned before I began my studies for my MFA in Creative Writing, and was very different from the original thesis I began writing. I'll try to break it down for you, in case there are some aspiring writers out there who are interested in how my novel evolved.
Military Short Stories
When I went to combat in Afghanistan for the second time, I began collecting true stories. I didn't know what I was going to do with with, but I thought they were worthy of being remembered in detail if nothing else. I also added stories from my first time to Afghanistan in 2002 and experience in Panama during Operation Just Cause in 1989. These stories sat on my computer for over a decade. During that time, I pursued a Master's in International Relations and a MBA, but I didn't enjoy either program, and I realized that what I really wanted to do was write.
Application to the MFA in Creative Writing program at UTEP
In order to apply for the MFA program, I had to submit 30 pages of a novel. I combined the stories into a story. I was accepted into the program. When I look at the pages I submitted, I am embarrassed with the quality of work I submitted and surprised that they accepted me on the basis of those pages. I am also grateful that they took a chance on me.
I assumed that I would have to write a lot of stories in the program, so my plan was to write scenes for a book that I called The Soldier's Notebook during the program, and then put the scenes together for my thesis. The best laid plans and all that.
The Soldier's Notebook
My idea at that time was to write a story called the Soldier's Notebook which would be told in seven parts, each part from a different character's point of view and all would tell different sides of the war in Afghanistan.
The first would be a Green Beret newly arrived in Afghanistan and assigned to do staff and admin work. He finds the notebook for which the novel is named, and begins to use it to write his daily list of things to do, helping teams that are forward deployed, writing home, sending supplies forward, etc. At the end of this part, he finally goes forward on a MEDEVAC and while he is there, he passes his notebook off to a soldier on the ground who needs paper to write down vital signs for the wounded soldiers.
The second part is told from the POV of the combat soldier who was passed the notebook. He begins to use the notebook as a daily journal to tell about the combat missions he goes on, the firefights he is involved in, the interrogation of the enemy, the loss of friends and comrades. This part ends with him passing the notebook to an Afghan girl during his last mission.
The third part is told from this Afghan girl's POV as she discusses her family life. The girl uses the notebook to teach English to local girls. Her brother returns from Pakistan where he was trained by the Taliban. At first, she is glad to see him again, but then she realizes that he has been changed by his training. At the end of this part, her brother threatens her because she is teaching girls and becoming educated herself. he hits her and takes the notebook.
The notebook is used by the brother to learn how to set up IEDs. Then he passes the notebook on to a protege. The protege decides he does not agree with the Taliban way of life and betrays them to Americans, turning in the notebook. the Americans turn the notebook in with the Taliban bombers they capture as evidence.
That was my first plot. Obviously, that is not the novel I wrote as you can see from the query letter above.
MFA Program
The MFA Program was different than I expected. I was forced to take the program online because I was still active duty military and had to work. UTEP was one of the only universities that offered a degree completely online, so I was forced to take the program with them and as such I didn't do much research before I applied. The program was primarily concerned with writing short stories. I took one poetry class, no play writing classes were offered until my last semester, and I only saw one class orientated toward writing a novel. I was told that the program had a lot of these classes on campus, but that the professors in their online classes didn't offer them.
When it came time to write my thesis, I decided to write a compilation of military stories similar to Tim O'Brien's stories about Vietnam. I decided this because I wasn't completely sure how to put a novel together and at the end of the program and I had a collection of short stories, so it seemed like the easy way to go. for my first semester, I pursued this as my thesis. After about four months, I had a dream or something, I don't really know how the idea came to me, but I came up with the idea described in my query letter at the top of this post. I then spent the next 18 months writing it from scratch in chapter order. I wrote the last 200 pages in two months in order to make my deadline. (I had to extend my thesis twice, because the normal time for writing a thesis is only 1 year, but I took 2).
Aftermath
After I defended my thesis, and I received input from my panel, I waited about 45 days and didn't even look at my novel. Then, I read the whole thing again, corrected all my spelling and grammar errors (once again, I'm surprised they passed my defense with all the errors I found). I then wrote a query letter and sent the letter and the first 30 pages to 9 agents. So far, to have replied that they are not interested. I don't expect any replies from the rest since it has been a while. Meanwhile, I rewrote some parts of the novel, sent the query letter to a query letter expert, and sent the whole novel to a structure editor. And now the waiting begins. After I get the editor's suggestions, I'll revise the novel again and send it to some more agents. Simultaneously, I'm writing a few other non-fiction books and starting a fantasy novel and another fiction thriller.
Let me know if you have any questions on the evolution of this novel. In future posts, I'll upload my original and revised query letters and the progress on agent hunting.
RR
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